Entry #1
After what seemed an eternity, it had been decided. My time to be born was coming soon. This decision was not taken lightly; it required the gathering of information, vast planning, and what you call, years of observation.
Everyone thinks spirits are on some distant cloud, or surreal kingdom with wings and harps just sitting around waiting for something, or someone to tell them something. This is definitely not true. Oh if those who have bodies could just look a little closer they would see, we the unborn are watching you, waiting, learning, and trying to positively influencing those we love.
Yes we have emotions, always have and always will I suppose. I don’t remember ever not feeling, not earning for more, not just being. Yes we have feelings. My favorite feeling is what those who have gone ahead call love. You see it in the eyes of children as they look to their parents and conversely you see it in the eyes of parents as they watch their little ones experience life. You see it in the eyes and hear it in the words and hearts of parents, as they make love hoping for a child of their own. It must be wonderful to experience love.
After all this time the plan had been made, my parents chosen, and an expected time for my birth, my moment of breathing fresh air and experiencing life. Oh there is so much I want to know, to discover, and to share. I have been told my gifts will be great and difficult, nonetheless, as I develop them and share them with others we all will grow in experience and intelligence.
Entry #2
The picking or assigning of parents and children is a process that takes time. As each individual is schooled on what to expect, how to act, things to search for and things to avoid, it becomes evident that we all have differing desires and tastes. Some want great trials and great rewards; others desire no trials yet great rewards. I believe most of us simple want a good time in this new consciousness, filled with whatever experiences we have. As we are told it is those experiences that help us progress and become more, at least more than I understand now.
The parents, of my parents, traveled from various parts of the world to find each other, mine would too. Funny how they somehow know when they finally meet that special someone, someone to be happy with, someone to share experiences with, someone with whom to have children. Most of this is discussed and alignments made with promises of undying devotion long before each is born certainly long before children are assigned. Few remember these moments, but all know in their hearts when it happens.
My Mother to be is a beautiful woman with perfect hair and skin. She looks like the ladies others call movie stars, but I don’t know what that means. Her Mother is from a small country with lots of people, many do not have enough to eat, or homes to sleep in. Some don’t live very long and return quickly.
My Father is strong and smart and loves to read and teach others about life and those who came before him. He is from a nice place with enough to eat, and will meet my Mother in a class he is teaching. They will fall in love just by looking into each other’s eyes.
I know I will have the best parents anyone will ever have!
Entry #3
Today is the day! Mother signed up for the class. She works so hard for the little things she has, still she is generous to a fault. Her roommates take advantage of her benevolence sometimes, and she knows it, but in this place she has so much more than her parents ever dreamed of having, she doesn’t mind the supposed deception.
Father is in his office grading papers and looking over the notes for his lecture today. He is older than Mother and more set in his ways, firm to his convictions, however I know when I am in his arms he will smile and the tough guy outside will soften.
It is wonderful, the young beauty finding a seat in class, just right of center on the second row. The wiser man enters and begins the usual first day lecture, rehearsing the words he had said so many times, not even looking at the students. He hands papers to the first student and asks him to pass them on. Each student takes a few as the shrinking pile makes is way across the first row, then to the second.
As the pile reached Mother she was preoccupied, taking notes as fervently as she could, just like she did before she left this place. The student to her left held the papers out for Mother to take, she didn’t notice them, so he placed them on the empty desk between them. Mother, not yet accustomed to the damper climate, sneezed and sent the papers flying.
Father turned to see who was disturbing his class preparing to sternly reprimand the student, and saw her for the first time. Her beauty overtook him and he softened. There it was, the love in both their eyes.
Entry #4
The dating was fast and intense. Passion such as theirs, few in any history had known. The forethought plan was coming true and even greater than I imagined it could be. Arrangements were quickly made and by the school’s winter break a wedding was held. She worn a crown of Asteracea, and held a bouquet of Camellia, both beautiful white flowers showing her virtue, he wore a white afternoon tuxedo with a satin bowtie. Now I may be biased in my view as these two individuals are going to be my parents. Nonetheless it was the most wonderful event I had ever witnessed.
On their wedding night I stood outside of their window waiting, knowing at some point my body would begin to grow, that very night, it did.
Entry #5
The excitement of watching as one cell multiples over and over again, knowing that this is your body, your home on this plane for as long as it can carry you is beyond description. After only a few days I could see my head, the beginnings of limbs and eyes. Why I have the makings of a rather handsome individual if I may say so.
Most people think an embryo moves due to nerves being made, or chemical changes in the new body. I can tell you it is me trying it on for size. Not really size, because my spirit is already adult size. It is like building a new home, one tends to visit it every step of the way, to walk around in it to personally see how the construction is going, to make any necessary changes along the way. I was there as often as I could. In fact Mother would complain about all the dancing and stretching. For me it felt really good to have a new home with parents that love me.
My new life was becoming a reality, my new body growing a little different than I expected, but still I would soon be experiencing life. Then a routine doctor visit began an unusual path.
Entry #6
Long ago parents would make lists of names and buy clothes for both male and female babies, not being sure what they were having but being prepared for anything. Now with all the technology parents want to know whether their baby is male or female, how tall they will be, are they perfect. My parents are the same.
I was happy for them to know my sex, and running all the tests Doctors do now, they found out. Then they ran more and more tests, checking blood and fluid levels. That was when they also found out I was not going to be the perfect baby.
To me the situation was not that bad. The Doctor used some big words to tell my parents I would be different. Is what he meant was my body had not grown like it was supposed to, my body was growing in unusual ways, meaning less than perfect. My head would be a little bigger than the correct proportions, my arms bent differently due to not having enough room, and my legs stopped growing long ago. However my intelligence was high and my ability to love was off the charts. They just couldn’t measure that yet.
The Doctor spoke of what life would be like with me as their new baby, the struggles, challenges, and hard times. Nevertheless that is what life is about, having the experiences we need to grow and learn from, to move on. That is why I was coming to them, had they forgotten our plan.
Entry #7
The pleasant loving talk about their baby had been replaced with escalating arguments that eventually became name calling, slamming doors, and tearful nights. I had heard about these emotions but they are much worse, than you can imagine, ... especially when they are about you.
It took longer for me to understand where all this was going, yet soon one realizes, the plan can be altered.
Entry #8
Last night was calm; I spent most of it resting in my new body feeling my Mother’s warmth surround me, her blood feeding mine, our union together. Father slept in the other room; I don’t think he slept well, as he would stand in the doorway just watching us.
As morning came there was little conversation about anything, they had stopped talking about me several days ago. I knew today was important, I just didn’t understand what was about to happen. Mother and Father even rode in silence as we drove down the interstate, usually they sang along with the radio, talked politics, or about the future.
The Doctor was in a new place with lots of lights and sterile looking clothes hanging from everyone. I had never been in this room, it is quiet and for some reason it felt sad, I would soon find out.
Mother went to sleep, this time it was different. Not like she would at night after studying, watching TV, or talking to Father. This was deep, she could not move, but I felt her heart break. Then everything changed.
Instrument where inside her, poking me, cutting at my home. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” I screamed. This is not how it’s supposed to happen.
But no one listened.
No one heard me.
Suddenly my connection with my Mother was gone.
The lights were bright on my skin: I tried to move, to breathe, to survive! The only sound I could comprehend was my own heart beating to keep me alive! Even it slowed and faded away. The lights slowly faded away.
My friends will try to explain things to me, to make me feel better. I won’t understand, I won’t feel better, we had a plan, and they were supposed to love me!
I still love them.... what do I do now?
The End
After what seemed an eternity, it had been decided. My time to be born was coming soon. This decision was not taken lightly; it required the gathering of information, vast planning, and what you call, years of observation.
Everyone thinks spirits are on some distant cloud, or surreal kingdom with wings and harps just sitting around waiting for something, or someone to tell them something. This is definitely not true. Oh if those who have bodies could just look a little closer they would see, we the unborn are watching you, waiting, learning, and trying to positively influencing those we love.
Yes we have emotions, always have and always will I suppose. I don’t remember ever not feeling, not earning for more, not just being. Yes we have feelings. My favorite feeling is what those who have gone ahead call love. You see it in the eyes of children as they look to their parents and conversely you see it in the eyes of parents as they watch their little ones experience life. You see it in the eyes and hear it in the words and hearts of parents, as they make love hoping for a child of their own. It must be wonderful to experience love.
After all this time the plan had been made, my parents chosen, and an expected time for my birth, my moment of breathing fresh air and experiencing life. Oh there is so much I want to know, to discover, and to share. I have been told my gifts will be great and difficult, nonetheless, as I develop them and share them with others we all will grow in experience and intelligence.
Entry #2
The picking or assigning of parents and children is a process that takes time. As each individual is schooled on what to expect, how to act, things to search for and things to avoid, it becomes evident that we all have differing desires and tastes. Some want great trials and great rewards; others desire no trials yet great rewards. I believe most of us simple want a good time in this new consciousness, filled with whatever experiences we have. As we are told it is those experiences that help us progress and become more, at least more than I understand now.
The parents, of my parents, traveled from various parts of the world to find each other, mine would too. Funny how they somehow know when they finally meet that special someone, someone to be happy with, someone to share experiences with, someone with whom to have children. Most of this is discussed and alignments made with promises of undying devotion long before each is born certainly long before children are assigned. Few remember these moments, but all know in their hearts when it happens.
My Mother to be is a beautiful woman with perfect hair and skin. She looks like the ladies others call movie stars, but I don’t know what that means. Her Mother is from a small country with lots of people, many do not have enough to eat, or homes to sleep in. Some don’t live very long and return quickly.
My Father is strong and smart and loves to read and teach others about life and those who came before him. He is from a nice place with enough to eat, and will meet my Mother in a class he is teaching. They will fall in love just by looking into each other’s eyes.
I know I will have the best parents anyone will ever have!
Entry #3
Today is the day! Mother signed up for the class. She works so hard for the little things she has, still she is generous to a fault. Her roommates take advantage of her benevolence sometimes, and she knows it, but in this place she has so much more than her parents ever dreamed of having, she doesn’t mind the supposed deception.
Father is in his office grading papers and looking over the notes for his lecture today. He is older than Mother and more set in his ways, firm to his convictions, however I know when I am in his arms he will smile and the tough guy outside will soften.
It is wonderful, the young beauty finding a seat in class, just right of center on the second row. The wiser man enters and begins the usual first day lecture, rehearsing the words he had said so many times, not even looking at the students. He hands papers to the first student and asks him to pass them on. Each student takes a few as the shrinking pile makes is way across the first row, then to the second.
As the pile reached Mother she was preoccupied, taking notes as fervently as she could, just like she did before she left this place. The student to her left held the papers out for Mother to take, she didn’t notice them, so he placed them on the empty desk between them. Mother, not yet accustomed to the damper climate, sneezed and sent the papers flying.
Father turned to see who was disturbing his class preparing to sternly reprimand the student, and saw her for the first time. Her beauty overtook him and he softened. There it was, the love in both their eyes.
Entry #4
The dating was fast and intense. Passion such as theirs, few in any history had known. The forethought plan was coming true and even greater than I imagined it could be. Arrangements were quickly made and by the school’s winter break a wedding was held. She worn a crown of Asteracea, and held a bouquet of Camellia, both beautiful white flowers showing her virtue, he wore a white afternoon tuxedo with a satin bowtie. Now I may be biased in my view as these two individuals are going to be my parents. Nonetheless it was the most wonderful event I had ever witnessed.
On their wedding night I stood outside of their window waiting, knowing at some point my body would begin to grow, that very night, it did.
Entry #5
The excitement of watching as one cell multiples over and over again, knowing that this is your body, your home on this plane for as long as it can carry you is beyond description. After only a few days I could see my head, the beginnings of limbs and eyes. Why I have the makings of a rather handsome individual if I may say so.
Most people think an embryo moves due to nerves being made, or chemical changes in the new body. I can tell you it is me trying it on for size. Not really size, because my spirit is already adult size. It is like building a new home, one tends to visit it every step of the way, to walk around in it to personally see how the construction is going, to make any necessary changes along the way. I was there as often as I could. In fact Mother would complain about all the dancing and stretching. For me it felt really good to have a new home with parents that love me.
My new life was becoming a reality, my new body growing a little different than I expected, but still I would soon be experiencing life. Then a routine doctor visit began an unusual path.
Entry #6
Long ago parents would make lists of names and buy clothes for both male and female babies, not being sure what they were having but being prepared for anything. Now with all the technology parents want to know whether their baby is male or female, how tall they will be, are they perfect. My parents are the same.
I was happy for them to know my sex, and running all the tests Doctors do now, they found out. Then they ran more and more tests, checking blood and fluid levels. That was when they also found out I was not going to be the perfect baby.
To me the situation was not that bad. The Doctor used some big words to tell my parents I would be different. Is what he meant was my body had not grown like it was supposed to, my body was growing in unusual ways, meaning less than perfect. My head would be a little bigger than the correct proportions, my arms bent differently due to not having enough room, and my legs stopped growing long ago. However my intelligence was high and my ability to love was off the charts. They just couldn’t measure that yet.
The Doctor spoke of what life would be like with me as their new baby, the struggles, challenges, and hard times. Nevertheless that is what life is about, having the experiences we need to grow and learn from, to move on. That is why I was coming to them, had they forgotten our plan.
Entry #7
The pleasant loving talk about their baby had been replaced with escalating arguments that eventually became name calling, slamming doors, and tearful nights. I had heard about these emotions but they are much worse, than you can imagine, ... especially when they are about you.
It took longer for me to understand where all this was going, yet soon one realizes, the plan can be altered.
Entry #8
Last night was calm; I spent most of it resting in my new body feeling my Mother’s warmth surround me, her blood feeding mine, our union together. Father slept in the other room; I don’t think he slept well, as he would stand in the doorway just watching us.
As morning came there was little conversation about anything, they had stopped talking about me several days ago. I knew today was important, I just didn’t understand what was about to happen. Mother and Father even rode in silence as we drove down the interstate, usually they sang along with the radio, talked politics, or about the future.
The Doctor was in a new place with lots of lights and sterile looking clothes hanging from everyone. I had never been in this room, it is quiet and for some reason it felt sad, I would soon find out.
Mother went to sleep, this time it was different. Not like she would at night after studying, watching TV, or talking to Father. This was deep, she could not move, but I felt her heart break. Then everything changed.
Instrument where inside her, poking me, cutting at my home. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” I screamed. This is not how it’s supposed to happen.
But no one listened.
No one heard me.
Suddenly my connection with my Mother was gone.
The lights were bright on my skin: I tried to move, to breathe, to survive! The only sound I could comprehend was my own heart beating to keep me alive! Even it slowed and faded away. The lights slowly faded away.
My friends will try to explain things to me, to make me feel better. I won’t understand, I won’t feel better, we had a plan, and they were supposed to love me!
I still love them.... what do I do now?
The End
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